The Evolving Jam.

Jamming, People.

A couple of things. 

First, Charlie seems to have returned to his former self. It feels like a miracle.  Second, I went to a Phish show. It was good. Sadly, I was not converted. Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t have to get baggy jam band jigging clothes. I did do some swaying. 

So, Charlie has been through it the last few weeks. My trips in and out of town really fucked him up. He has separation anxiety and that induced colitis and then he became aggressive with the other cats. It was a real chaotic shit show here when I got back from my last trip. In a panic, I put him on Prozac. It leveled him. Not in a good way. He was almost lethargic and seemed aggravated in another way. Like he knew he wasn’t himself.  It was also very sad. He just wasn’t the same guy. I couldn’t live with it. 

People kept telling me that I should let him adjust and wait it out. I started to think that actually meant that I needed to adjust to the fact that I had neutered his personality. I mean, I already took his balls away, now I was cutting off his personality. I was a monster. 

I took him off it. Waited it out a few days. He was still out of his mind with aggression. The vet had prescribed Gabapentin for when I was away. That would require getting it in his mouth. 

It was all causing me anxiety. Massive cat stress. It’s so good I don’t have kids. 

The vet gave me a supplement that I could try. Zylkene. I emptied a capsule into his dinner a few days ago and within hours he was calm and back to normal. What a relief. The stress it was causing me, and I imagine him as well, was daunting. Especially on top of all my other stress. 

I just don’t know why the first recommendation was so drastic. Prozac is a lifetime commitment to getting medicine into a wild animal. We’ll see if this other stuff holds and keeps working. I feel like it just gave him some space to get out from under the anger. I’ve been there. 

Phish was in town this past weekend. When I interviewed Trey a while back I had told him I’d never seen the band and I agreed to take him up on his invitation when it was convenient. So, I went. He set me up with great seats. 

What I didn’t expect at the show was that the entire Phish community had listened to my talk with him. So, they were all happy I took him up on his offer. Many people came up to me and said some version of, ‘You made it.’

The show was great. Despite my prejudgement, I did kind of know what to expect. The journey. 

I went knowing none of the songs. None. But I got the vibe. I lived with Dead Heads for two years back in the day. I went to a few shows. I have the jam band neural pathway. 

The first set at the show was mostly defined songs. The second set was the trip. The evolving jam. I think when you are of the world and you know all the songs, maybe many versions that you had experienced over many shows, there’s a depth to the experiences that I couldn’t have. The band is tight and I rolled with it. Having been high in my life and being surrounded by weed I was able to tap in. 

I dug it. Good experience. Glad I had it. I can’t say I’ll be part of the Pham but I immersed myself. 

To be fully transparent, I have to admit, I left before the end. I don’t like the post-concert mass exodus or traffic. It had nothing to do with the show. I mean, I left the Stones early. I leave all concerts early. 

I get it now though. 

Today I talk to director David Cronenberg. Thursday I talk to David Harbour again. I love that guy. Great week. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Filling the Funnel.

Taking it easy, People

I know I have been a bit dire lately. Dire times. 

It’s hard for me to compartmentalize almost anything. Once it’s in my mind I can sometimes sort it out. My perception is the funnel. I am the chute. So, it’s the sorting you’re hearing. 

I’ve been hung up on the reality of what is happening politically and culturally. The fear it causes in me and the seeming powerlessness at the core of that fear. I innately want to believe that there is a surprise shift possible. A magic bullet, a drastic paradigm shift that can happen instantly because of an event. That is hope. Though it is a kind of magical thinking. Until it isn’t. 

I think about the power of ‘art’ constantly as being that potential explosive catalyst. Like there is one image, moving or still, one line of poetry, one drastic act that will save us. It’s ridiculous because it has to be cumulative, collaborative, coincidental and serendipitous. It also has to have enough traction to stick for more than a few days and not get lost in the churn filling the funnel. 

So, we chip away against something that has been calculated and executed on all fronts for decades. The great mind fucking initiated in the collective unconscious by calculating totalitarian thinkers and the money behind them. So be it.

I can do what I do. It lands here and there. Shifts thinking a little bit one way or the other in people. Fine. I have to try to let go of being consumed by it all meaning something all the time. My time, my talking, anything that comes up in my mind has to imply something real or mostly fictional, speculative. 

So, I’m taking it easy for a few days. I took a week off from comedy. I’m just trying to sit with my life, cats, partner, food. Be outside. Lie on the grass. Sit in a chair. Let the sun beat down on my face. I’d like to make this stuff an essential part of my life as opposed to a brief, usually unsuccessful, reprieve from the internal and external churn. Looking for answers. Bits of relief through phrasing. 

It’s the act of poetry through comedy that keeps me sane. 

On the cat front, Charlie is back from the fog of the Fluoxetine experiment. After two weeks of sadness on my part, and I think discomfort on Charlie’s, I took him off the meds. I think I may have already told you this but to reiterate, he’s back to himself. It took a minute but he’s pretty much all here now and I couldn’t be happier about it. 

All that talk about him adjusting or you have to give it time almost makes me mad at myself. He’s not even three yet. He’s still out of his mind. When I’m home I can get between him and Buster. My experience with cats leads me to believe that eventually things will settle down. Buster used to bite the shit out of old Monkey when Monkey was frail. It passed. Kind of. Monkey got sicker but it wasn’t Buster's fault.

So, maybe this is a little cat Karma for Buster. Either way, the real issue is how deeply attached little Charlie is to me and what to do about that when I’m away. I’m working on a less permanent med intervention. Hopefully it will be effective. 

I also ordered a cat tree. That’s the day you surrender your house to cats. Whatever pride you put into decorating or maintaining a look of a house goes right into the toilet when you get a cat tree. I’m just hoping it gives him more to do when he’s bored than to beat up the other guys. We’ll see. 

This week I talk to two truly hilarious women. Liza Treyger on Monday and Jessica Kirson on Thursday. Very funny. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Old Brick Buildings.

Worn out, Folks.

I’m happy to be returning to California from America. 

I like America but it's kind of tense out there. I’m sure I’m projecting a bit and on some level it’s always felt a little tense in a kind of jocks vs. stoners way but it’s definitely not a great vibe. The division. 

Sadly, the worst case scenario is that I am projecting and most people have no clue about what is really happening in the country. They’re just relieved they can be unfiltered monsters and be the dominant voice of the culture. Which is bad enough, but there is part of me that thinks, ‘This isn’t going to work out for any of us.’ 

After a certain point there is no way not to know that and the only way to maintain the denial will be the absolute suppression, through whatever means necessary, to stifle opposing or alternative voices and points of view. 

Most of that will be an inside job on behalf of the individual being targeted. Outside of deportations, disappearings, unnecessary firings and imprisonment. For most, it will be to retreat inside themselves in fear and feel their spirit die. 

That’s the fight. Keep your spirit alive and speak out. 

I’m in Michigan. 

On a lighter note, the shows have been great. Needed. I may be a little tired of the material I’ve been working on for a year and half now but the audiences seem to like it and need it. I keep tweaking stuff and all the shows are a bit different but I am honing in on a tight hour and ten. 

I was very surprised by Grand Rapids. It’s a pretty little city. The venue there was one of the best I’ve played. GLC Live at 20 Monroe is amazing. It’s relatively new and seems to have been designed for rock shows. But the way it’s laid out there isn’t really a bad seat in the house and the structural design makes the room dead on a sound level. No bounce, no echo. It must be amazing to see a well mixed rock show there. The staff was great and it hasn’t been around long enough for the green room to be a mess. Great performing experience. 

I also had some of the best coffee I’ve ever had there at Lantern Coffee. 

The other thing that makes Grand Rapids beautiful is the architectural attention paid to old buildings. The renovation of much of the old downtown is meticulously curated. I seem to really gravitate to restored old brick buildings. The bricks are cleaned and new windows put in and the ghosts of the painted signs of what they used to be remain. There’s a visual poetry to it that I find satisfying. 

Today I talk to director Ryan Coogler about his new film Sinners. It’s a horror movie. There is a genre now of Black horror that I guess has been kind of carved out by Jordan Peele. Sinners is rooted in the world of music and mysticism that is based in the Delta. It’s really a blues movie which I had no idea about going in. There are vampires, but it’s really about black music and spirituality and… vampires. It’s an interesting new take on some of the mythic stories. 

On Thursday I talk to Jillian Bell, who co-starred with me in Sword of Trust, about her directorial debut with the film Summer of 69. It’s a take on the classic teen film that is surprising. Partially because I’m old and I don’t have kids. It’s a fun movie. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Get That Heart Out.

Nice days, Folks.

I have to say, when the weather is good in LA, it’s beautiful. 

I guess life is simple if you let it be. That maybe just appreciating a day and taking a walk is enough. Like, that’s life. I’m not sure why I expect more out of it. What part of me thinks there’s got to be something else to it? Like I’m going to be given some big answer that makes it all make sense and feel good.

I guess that’s the essence of a spiritual search that I am decidedly not on. I accept the ambiguity and the deep sense of mild disappointment. If I could change that feeling into endless curiosity, wonder and excitement, maybe I would be a spiritually grounded person. 

What makes me feel good is fleeting and just a way to stay away from the fear of… most things.  Those fears have been with me for as long as I can remember. I’ve gotten used to rationalizing them and taking contrary action to counter them. 

I figured out a revealing thing about me from my cat, Charlie. I always kind of knew it. I’ve been giving him this small amount of Prozac to treat his aggression and separation anxiety. I don’t like it because he doesn’t seem himself. More precisely, he doesn’t seem to really need my attention anymore. A little bit more serotonin and he’s good. No need for a fake mommy, no need to constantly get attention. He didn’t really have a mom for very long. 

I’m upset because he’s not meeting my needs by wanting my attention constantly. It’s a real heartbreaker. I guess I can get him back to some version of that by taking him off the meds but he was starting to attack the other cats and me a bit. We’ll see. 

But all those unmet needs early on in his life created a being that was just those needs. I can relate. 

Lately I’ve shut down a lot. I’ve tried to accept those needs will never be met, which they won't, but I have to get that heart out in the world so it can see the light. Appreciate a walk, let it be enough. 

I think that’s been the entire purpose and arc of my comedy. Trying to peel away the layers while people laugh at me. Surviving embarrassment. To get that heart out in the world. 

I have to put down the shield. I don’t know how I will make myself feel good but I do it a bit here and there. I have to let go of what I think other people expect out of me and stop trying to meet those projected expectations. I have to let go of a lot of things that bring me relief mentally or occupy my mind constantly. I have to let go of thinking I should be like someone else, anyone else. 

I’m not sure who I’m writing this to or why but it's been on my mind. I think because I had a deep talk with David Harbour and we ended up at a place where the nature of self was questioned and we got to Buddhism somehow. 

That will do it every time. 

Today I have a wide-ranging, interesting conversation with Peter Weller, actor and art historian. Thursday I talk to comedian Gavin Matts to varying degrees of success. Good week. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live. 

Love,
Maron

Relief in Ghosts.

The Midwest, Folks.

I had a moment. I love Chicago. I can’t even explain why exactly. I’ve always liked it. It has its own thing. It’s a real American city with a storied history. 

In the past when I’d go to any town or city I’d go out of my way to check out what the place was known for, what food it was known for, what stores it was known for, what museums were around. All of it. 

Now I do none of it. Not in a bad way. I think I’m just more content. On some level, I’ve seen enough, eaten enough, bought enough stuff. 

I had gigs in Skokie and Joliet but I made sure to stay in Chicago. I didn’t really want to do anything there. I just wanted to be there. The point is, I realized that being someplace had nothing to do with what that place has to offer other than being that place. I mean, I get that about an island but what I realized is that it's the same with a city. It’s the vibe, the weight, the poetry of the place. It was elevating, soothing. To be in place that was whole and realized and old and part of the beginning of modern America. 

A ghost of the past where working people lived in layers of communities, immigrants, all occupations represented. Machines and manufacturing. Corner offices and printing presses and hot steel. 

I’m not sure I’m even explaining it right. It represents something that doesn’t really exist anymore. 

I find relief in ghosts. 

In this time of an authoritarian coup that seems nearly unstoppable, fueled by illusion and heartless greed, I find respite in the apparitions of what life was like even well before me. 

Ghosts are everywhere talking to us from buildings and on the radio, on our phones. The tones of the dead elevate the soul. It’s magic. It’s nostalgia maybe, but necessary to remember what humans did before they were totally brain fucked by illusions of bullshit disassembling our minds into emotionally charged hammers and knives. 

This new world wants those that think and feel for other people to die and they’re going to use the broken brains of the dehumanized, gutted of empathy, to carry out the mass homicide through negligence, suppression, forced illness and possible brute force. Who the fuck knows? 

I’m just saying, it’s nice to hang out with ghosts in ghost ships. It’s exciting to bring people in from the storm of their minds and the tyranny of the monsters to connect and entertain. 

I played the Rialto Theatre in Joliet and it is one of the most beautiful venues I’ve ever been in. I was skeptical about going there at first. I didn’t know what kind of town it was. Driving in, it seemed shattered and bleak. There was almost nothing going on downtown. There, in the grayness, was this monument of old entertainment with a lit up sign full of bulbs. 

I don't know where the people came from. The sound guy and the lighting guy and the stage manager seemed a bit detached and cold. The security guy out back asked me if he had seen me on Fox News. I said, ‘Not that I know of. Not on purpose, if at all.’

It was not a great way to enter the venue. The lighting board had been totally disconnected and I had no idea whether that would resolve itself. 

The theatre was magic and seemingly maintained perfectly. I think the seats were even original from the '20s. 

More than 800 people showed up. The place seated 1,900 but it was perfect because it made it intimate and a little weird. Fully lit up folks in a magic time machine laughing through the bleakness and the despair. Perfect. 

Thanks to the ghosts and what's left of where they lived. 

Today I talk to Delroy Lindo. It got deep. It was real. Thursday I talk to Lynne Margulies who was Andy Kaufman’s last partner and was there when he died. We talk about Andy and the new amazing doc about him, Thank You Very Much. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Fried Rice.

Cruise, Folks.

I’m in a hotel room looking at a cruise ship out my window. I really can't understand how some people look at one of those and think, ‘That looks like it would be a great time.’

Being stuck on a boat for days, maybe weeks, with the same people. Wandering around eating at a different buffet every hour in the middle of the oceans sounds like hell to me. I also get seasick pretty easily. I’m just not a boat guy. 

I’m not sure what kind of guy I am. I really have to figure out how to have fun. The anxiety of traveling in any vessel for one reason or another is kind of daunting. Just figuring out where to stay and what to do anywhere is exhausting. 

I’m in Charleston, SC right now which seems to be a popular destination for the vacation people. I walked a mile to a restaurant, which was good, but I feel like I’m kind of done with the town. It wasn’t even a fancy restaurant. It was a vegan butcher shop called Three Girls on Spring. It didn’t have a table except for a couple outside and it might’ve been the highlight of my whole trip. 

There are beaches and water and fancy southern style things all over here but I just don’t care. 

I went to a record store which is always immediately overwhelming and the guy who worked there, who I didn’t notice,  said, ‘Is that the Marc Maroon tee?’ I turned around and this dude had a Ship John shirt and hat on. He had listened to me talk to Mike Elias. I was wearing Ship John pants. The cult of Ship John is international. 

Again, as I’ve been saying, it’s good to get out there and talk to strangers in passing. Stay in touch with basic humanity. 

I was in Charlotte and looked up some vegan soul food place. I drove out to the address and it was in some kind of complex of restaurants but it wasn’t really its own restaurant. I walked into a room with a few high top tables and maybe eight video screens which were click-on menu touchscreens for as many different restaurants. There was a door there that said pick up order here. I’d never seen anything like it. It was horrifying somehow. The future. 

There was a counter at one side of the room with a kitchen and a few tables. It was a Japanese place called Dozo run by chef/owner Perry Saito. I asked him how the screen business worked. He said there’s an industrial kitchen in the back and people representing each menu for each ‘restaurant’ rent stations in the kitchen. I guess it’s kind of an extension of the food truck idea when you’re ready to get out of the truck. 

Perry recognized me. We talked comedy for a few minutes. I told him I was vegan but I didn’t really love the whole touchscreen thing. He said he didn’t have any real vegan dishes but he said he’d make me a tofu and mushroom fried rice. So, he was cooking it and then we talked about the area, the south, the blue bit, the red bit. He said when he was younger he never really connected how politics affected his life but now as a small restaurant owner he was concerned for the future of his place because of tariffs and the cost of imported stuff. 

His dad was a chef and he had built his business from a food truck. 

It’s good to talk about what’s happening in a practical way with people who are waking up to the horrendous impact of it all. It gave me hope somehow. For a few minutes. 

The fried rice was awesome. 

Today I talk to Nick Thune again. It had been years. It's been a rough few for him. Good talk. On Thursday I talk to Modi. He’s an Israeli-American comic I have known for years but hadn’t seen in about 20. His career had blown up in a very specific way. Another great talk. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

The Big Empty.

Panic, People.

I guess I’ve been a panicky person my whole life. I try to hide it and maybe it does recede a bit when I’m engaged with something, like a person or a task, but my resting brain is panicky.

When we are in a time where panic is warranted and reasonable, I generally think it’s the appropriate response and not some psychological aberration.

That implies that my mind works normally. Whatever that means. Well, it doesn’t. It never has. I was brought up with panic. Not too many principles, but panic. Worry. 

Oddly the idea of treating my anxiety is still dubious to me. Which is puzzling, but also makes me understand the spectrum of questioning medication. I mean, you want to be able to handle it. You want to feel healthy enough to not need it or fight the convenience of it. Get obsessed with side effects and the compromise of your physical, mental and spiritual sanctity. That goes for any condition. Not just psychological. It’s dumb. Ego driven. 

I can't take it anymore. It’s taking me to the edge of sanity. 

I’ve been here before and generally I just ride it out. Fuck. It’s too much. 

Like I’ll walk you through something that just happened. I texted Kit. No response. I’ve grown accustomed to not hearing back from people I text. I don’t respond half the time for a day or two. It’s hard to know when text threads end or if you’re waiting for a response. It’s part of life. I’ve adjusted to it. 

For some reason I locked in and my brain just took off. She didn’t get back to me. I knew she was probably sleeping or doing laundry or at the dog park but my brain just what if’d it to something horrible and that became the dominant narrative. Car accident. Hospital. Death. What do I do if that happens? Her cats, her family. How do I handle that? Cutting back and forth between that and her most likely napping. Which she was. 

It’s exhausting running all the scenarios all the time. With anything. With no indication that any of it is happening. It takes my brain to very dark places. 

It’s been going non stop lately. With everything. Sadly with the political climate and the environmental climate there are plenty of indicators that the worst is happening. I wish, in light of that, I could find a bit of peace in my personal life but I cannot. 

I know this is no surprise to those who know me and my work. But when am I going to do something about it?

I mean, I drink a gallon of coffee a day and constantly have a nicotine pouch in my mouth. God forbid I start by stopping that shit. I don’t.

I am terrified of the emptiness of my core.

I don't really know how to have fun or relax or just sit for very long. I am capable of all these things but my wiring seems to prefer panic and compulsive relief as opposed to peace of mind and acceptance. 

I know, I know. This is basic existential stuff that I could get relief from with basic spiritual ideas. 

I don’t know what it’s going to take to stop fighting the big empty and embrace it. Buddhism?

Anyway, I talk to Jane Marie today about a lot of things including her podcast The Dream. On Thursday I have a kind of amazing talk with comedian Chris Fleming. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Homemade Falafel.

Texas, Folks.

I have traversed the Country of Texas over the last few days. I appreciate it, but I don’t love it. It’s petty and deeper than politics. I grew up in New Mexico and there was always a bit of a state rivalry and judgement of Texas. Shallow stuff. 

I do really like certain parts. Oddly, Houston mostly. 

We started the run in Oklahoma City which I have been to a few times. I always psyche myself out before going to certain places. Red states, mostly. When I get there it all dissipates pretty quickly. What happens in my mind is not reality. Reality on a person-to-person level is always better. Heartwarming even. 

There is a vital creative scene in OKC. I had a nice crowd. I had a great breakfast. I liked the hotel. 

The funniest thing was when me and my opener Blair Socci got to the hotel, we were checking in and Bobby Lee walked out of the elevators. Crazy. He was there shooting a movie. Fred Armisen was there too. I had breakfast the next day with him. It was very comforting to see some friends doing creative stuff in a place I never expected to see them. I also reached out to Wayne Coyne. He and The Flaming Lips are headquartered there. He didn’t make it to the show but the rest of the band did. 

Friends really make you feel less alone in the world. Especially when you are out in it and surprised by them being there. 

The show in OKC was great. 

Then we drove to Dallas which is a sprawl. When you are out in the Country of Texas there is a weird, powerful zen to the plateau of it. It’s massive. Seems like the whole world but the cities seem to go on and on for miles. There is more road construction there than anywhere I’ve ever been. Miles and miles of it. Not pretty. 

The show in Dallas was amazing. The Majestic Theatre is beautiful. A guy I knew back in the day from Boston was working at the place so we did some catching up and time travel. Again, old friends make you feel less alone in the world and bring you back down to earth and give you an opportunity to remember who you were and are. 

I love Houston. It’s such an amazing, diverse city. Great art and great food. I reached out to Mo Amer when I was there and he had me over to his house for homemade falafel. It was awesome. I met his wife and kid. We ate and talked. It’s truly sweet when people put a premium on hospitality and connection. Beautiful afternoon. 

I also revisited the Rothko Chapel and saw it with newer, older eyes. While I was meditating on the massive panels this time around I realized the true power of darkness. The inevitability of it. No one got close to the abyss in painting as he did and these were some of the last works he did before he died by suicide. So, the spiritual nature of the space took on a deeper meaning. It was dark and nebulous but honest. It wasn’t a cry for help but it was pulled from space by a man at his existential end. 

The Houston show was a bit rowdy but great. 

I’m writing this overlooking the Riverwalk in San Antonio. I hope this show is a nice end to this run. We’ll see. Parades of tourists trudging along the river doesn’t make me optimistic but I’ll let you know how it goes. 

Today I talk to W. Kamau Bell again. He’s a great guest and this was our best talk. On Thursday I talk to Mike Elias. He’s the creator of Ship John and his journey as a craftsman is a unique conversation for the show. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

The Daily Garbage Churn.

I can take it, People!

I think I can. It’s day to day. 

The arc of feelings from self righteous anger to suicidal ideation. I get that it's a limited range. The dark spectrum. On the light spectrum I have fleeting blurts of mania to exhausted peace of mind. 

My maternal lineage goes back to Ukraine. Galicia. Which was an oil boom town. I’d like to think of my great, great, great grandfather working those wells. A Jewish roughneck. I stand with Ukraine politically and genetically. 

I’ve been out in New Mexico for a few days visiting my dad and his wife who has a huge family. It strikes me that as a person who doesn’t have kids and is relatively disconnected from my extended family that I have a lot less unfolding and seemingly never-ending drama in my life. That is the excitement of family and connection. There’s always someone to talk about for better or worse. In the absence of that, it’s just the daily garbage churn of the manifestations of my own insecurity, shame, panic and despair along with all the other trash I throw in the hopper.  The four horsemen of my personal apocalypse. 

I know, I’m tired of me too. 

That’s why, lately, I am taking every opportunity I can to be among other people talking in real life. I was waiting on line at a coffee shop here and some guy complimented my sunglasses and the next thing I knew we were talking about his tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, his family, trips to Venice he had taken, his Italian roots and my boots. That happened in five minutes. People like to talk to people. It’s better when it’s casual and loose and not driven by ideology and politics because that’s when you're listening to a self editing recording device and the person’s humanity fades into the machine or disappears. 

I’m writing this before the Oscars which I hope to watch and record the intro of the show after. 

I’m hoping for Anora to win Best Picture. I think it’s a perfect Hollywood movie in that it subverts its Hollywood movieness. 

I’m hoping for Brady Corbet for Best Director because he’s a visionary artist with real old school, almost European mastery. 

I watched his first film last week, The Childhood of a Leader. Made in 2015. I have to say, it may be better than The Brutalist, which was very good. It’s real deal cinematic art. It poses more questions than, if any, answers. It leaves a lot of space for engagement and wonder. It has a seamless logic, cinematically and story wise. Corbet is a rare talent. 

I’ve gotten a bit of reaction to my cynicism around boycotts. I get how they work. I get the intention of leveling economic pain against a corporation or in most cases, a particular billionaire oligarch. What I don’t see is its impact on the current political hellscape that is unfolding and deepening daily. I don’t see how it stops Trump or has any real impact on his presidency. If it makes you feel good, go for it. I’m onboard but it feels to me like we are beyond that having any real political impact. 

Maybe public perception will change and maybe more angry people will once again believe that civil service in the form of candidacy will manifest. People who believe in democracy and how it actually works will seize the minds of the angry, disenfranchised and disillusioned, and make them believers in a government by the people, for the people, voting the grifters and shills and useful idiots out. That’s if voting remains a thing. 

But in the meantime, if you want to go out in the world and shop at actual stores and stop buying Teslas, all the power to you. Whatever gets you through the day. 

Today I talk to Don Johnson, a real Hollywood veteran. On Thursday I talk to Will Oldham, aka Bonnie 'Prince' Billy, about the power of art and humanity and other lighter things. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Jerky and Jesus.

The South, People!

I’m in it. It’s different. 

I’ve been going to the South to perform for a long time. I am always apprehensive before I go because of assumptions about the people and politics and religiosity of the region. Back before I had any name recognition I was afraid of how my material would go over or if I was even safe. As I’ve built my audience, I know that most of the people at the show know what they are getting into. It’s easier but still a bit frightening for different reasons and still does not feel entirely safe. 

In the past, I would leave thinking I was being judgmental and the people I would encounter in passing were all generally good people. Nice. Obviously, my audiences are nice people, or at least, fans of mine. Also, the people I would encounter at businesses or restaurants or working at convenience stores were generally pleasant as well. 

I’m not sure what has changed but I’m still willing to bet it’s me. The things that were different were political or cultural ideas. In the past that wasn’t at the forefront of passing conversations and there was a willingness to accept others. Even if we had different ideas or beliefs. I’m not sure that is there anymore. I may be projecting or I may just be living in the real division between Americans and it made me feel awkward or alien or like an outsider. It's fair to say there are people I encountered in passing who are responsible for what is happening in the country, which is terrifying. 

So, I felt that. Again, I don’t know how much is in my head but I can read the news and know that the effects of their choices are real and brutal. 

The audiences have been amazing. All of them. Asheville, Louisville, Nashville and Lexington. Actually, as I write this, I haven’t done the Louisville show. So, I’ll get back to you on that. I have had some of the best shows of my life in Nashville though. I think because people who live in these blue dot cities have to deal with the divisiveness day-to-day in their state governments and it's much more real to them and has been for a long time. Also, the fear of even your neighbors at this point in terms of speaking your mind must be paralyzing. So, to be in a room of like minded people trying to have a laugh and realize you’re not crazy must be good. I’m trying to do that for them. 

I do like the country down here. It’s beautiful. The drive from Asheville to Nashville is stunning. I did experience something I had never experienced before. I went to a Buc-ee's. It is the Walmart of truck stops. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before. You walk in and it’s huge. There’s all the stuff that you see at other truck stops, just much more of it. At truck stops down here you can find some jerky and maybe a fun Jesus shirt but at Buc-ee's there’s an entire wall of jerky and a full boutique of faith based clothing and tchotchkes. 

And, sadly, standing in front of a wall of jerky with the racks of Jesus shirts behind you is not a unifying moment for me. It was daunting and a bit off-putting. Look, I appreciate cured meat and the story of the savior but there’s something about the time we are living in where I think, ‘Is it all going to be this eventually?’ Jerky and Jesus. Oh, and brisket, which crosses all ideological lines. 

Again, I don’t want to be a hater so I’ll just count myself among the frightened trying to make their way through with some dignity. 

Today I talk to actress Carrie Coon. She’s a firecracker. On Thursday I talk to Chris Hayes. We talk specifically about his new book The Sirens' Call, about the impact of technology and social media on our minds. Great stuff. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Slow Time.

Snow, People.

I’m glad I have the driving chops to navigate snow. They’ve come in pretty handy my last couple of trips.

I was excited to wear layers and a parka with fur around the hood. I like snow and winter and the cold air for a day or two but it was really fucking cold. We flew into Cedar Rapids last Wednesday and walked out to find the rental car covered in snow and it was so cold my hands hurt within seconds.

Thankfully I had my big dumb gloves as well. 

I’d been to Iowa City a few times before but sometimes I don’t remember a place until I get there. I had forgotten just how slow time goes by in the Midwest. That’s not a criticism. I guess it can sound like one if you come from a big city but there are two sides to it. If you want to get the most out of life and at the top of that list is time, Iowa might be for you. I had moments when I’d look at my watch thinking an hour went by but it was like 15 minutes. I think that is getting the most out of life on a basic level. Time just plodding by. It was a bit zen in a way. 

I guess it’s probably different for each person. If you’re busy, you’re busy. I was not. I was waiting. 

The show was great in Iowa City. Good people. My people. I have been nervous about going to red states during this transition to Competitive Authoritarianism and seemingly conditional cultural free speech but there are large communities of like-minded people anywhere I go in this country. 

I’m not fundamentally a political comic but I am a comic that talks about what is happening in the world from my point of view because we are living it. I can't get up there and just pretend like it's not happening or ignore it. I talk about shit. I talk about how I see it. I do that for maybe the first fifteen minutes. 

I address the fact that there are probably some Trump supporters in the audience and I say, ‘They didn’t come here on their own. You brought them. You married them. That’s on you.’ That gets a laugh. 

The Des Moines show was awesome. People are appreciative. My crowds need the relief of being in a room of hundreds of like-minded people in a city where that is rare. 

Kansas City, Missouri was good too. Big Theater. About 1100 people. Relieved. 

A guy came up to me after the KC show and said, ‘I’m one of the Trump guys here!’ He seemed like a pleasant enough fella. I said, ‘Did I get it right?’ He said, ‘Yeah, he’s crazy!’

I’m not completely sure I understand why he was so excited about it but that’s the bunch of his supporters I don’t quite get. The ones that enjoy the mentally ill, cruel presidential spectacle. I mean, I get that life is slower in the Midwest but I wish there were other options for satisfying entertainment other than watching the country burn on your phone or specific streaming channels. 

All and all, a good trip. Great shows with Lara Beitz opening. I’m looking forward to the next stretch in Asheville, Nashville, Lexington and Louisville. 

Today I have a great talk with Brady Corbet who directed The Brutalist. On Thursday another great one with Palestinian comic Mo Amer. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Among the People.

Pop, People.

I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. I never do. 

I like how it's always misconstrued as condescension or some kind of posture. I just have no idea how to watch any football, or most sports, because I honestly give zero fucks. Zero. 

I have nothing against sports and sometimes I think I may have actually been a better person if I had learned how to enjoy them on the field and off but I was never guided that way. I also think I just may have always given zero fucks. 

I never liked the culture around sports in high school. I never really had any sense of school or team loyalty. I can appreciate the excitement people get from it and understand why rooting for a team is a deep emotional connection but, not unlike my blasé attitude around god and belief, it’s just not how I am or was wired. I’m really not sure it was for the best but it just is. 

I think that’s why I can't stand political culture at this time. The same sort of fervor and angry, shallow emotions that drive sports fanaticism now drives politics. Unfortunately, the sport or pseudo-sport that it's most like is professional wrestling. Which I do understand as theater and entertainment but it's hard to grapple with when it affects thousands of lives, perhaps ending many. The heel is the president and he’s a sociopathic huckster clown autocrat. 

It’s not that I’m not competitive. I am. I try not to be. Because most of my competitive instincts are based in insecurity and self judgement and manifest in kind of snotty blurts and mildly bitter reactions to things. I know it isn’t real. If I change my perception and accept who I am (finally, at 61) I don’t have those impulses. On most days I can muster that up. Self acceptance. 

It is a challenge on other days. 

How you feel about yourself can determine your degree of misery and panic and sadness in your life, in relation to things happening outside of you. 

It’s good to get out of yourself. Get out there among the people. Even if it’s just to be part of it. 

I’m relearning that getting out among the people is necessary for me. I’m fortunate to have two primary jobs, comedy and podcasting, that put me into very immediate and engaging relationships with other humans. A single one and crowds. It keeps me human. It keeps me from getting lost in my head or my phone or my past or my catastrophic (always) future. 

I also need to just be around people, strangers, just out in the world. 

I went to Canter’s Deli by myself late the other night. I’ve been going there for almost 40 years. It's grounding. Just to sit there and eat the food of my tribe in a place filled with other late night eaters. Some solo, some groups. People watching and sharing space and being very present. 

It’s human to be around the passive vulnerability of others just existing and eating and talking. 

I miss that about living in NYC. 

I have to make sure I stay connected to it so I know we are all still here. I am still here. 

Today I talk to the magically talented Ariana Grande. On Thursday I talk to the big movie director James Mangold. Awesome week of talk and engagement. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Entertaining.

It’s a haul, Folks.

I write this thing every week. I have no idea how many people read it. Sometimes I dread it but I do it. It’s good to write. Helps one think. 

I just got back from a road trip to some gigs up in Northern Cali. I took Blair Socci with me to do shows in Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo and Monterey. Pretty little towns. The shows were solid. Good crowds. 

Something shifted in me doing these shows. I put a lot of pressure on myself generally and I think I’m getting tired of it. Because of who I assume my audience is, I feel like I have to have answers or solutions or a plan of attack to get through what seems to be a very effective and unstoppable authoritarian takeover of our government. 

Even saying that is a bit jarring to people. Some people really want to hang on to the idea that this is just another presidency, an aggressive and scary one, but a presidency nonetheless. I don’t believe that is true. I don’t know what it would take to get what’s left of the media to report on that, call it what it is. It will happen eventually, if they are allowed to continue reporting at all, in terms of access. I assume an actually undeniable constitutional crisis will occur in the coming weeks that will be doubled down on and there will be no denying it. 

That said, given that the people who come to see me are like-minded I feel a responsibility to report. Not the news, but my feeling about what is happening and how I am dealing with it. I hit some groove with it that was new to me in these last few shows. 

I will entertain. 

I spend some time up front expressing my feelings of fear, hopelessness and anger (in a funny way). Then given that it's out in the open and we are all on the same page, I set out to just be funny. There’s some heavy topics thrown in but somehow I have become excited to be entertaining. Informed and with a point of view, but entertaining. 

I’m doing some story driven bits that roll well and get really big laughs and I felt happy about that. They aren’t saying anything challenging or confrontational or necessarily political. Just some fun bits and people were laughing the laugh of people who were relieved to be able to find it in themselves to do it. 

My people. 

I also want to acknowledge the passing of David Lynch here. He was a visionary artist who I believe had a profound impact on all the arts. I don’t quite get a few of his movies but I like watching them. To see the work of a brilliant director committed to his unique vision and have it be singular is rare. Though I think my two favorite films of his are The Straight Story and The Elephant Man, I do enjoy engaging and reengaging with the ones that don’t quite come together for me. I blame myself for that lack of understanding. 

Marianne Faithfull also passed away. The arc of her life and career and her commitment to finding a voice through it all kind of changed my life. When the album Broken English came out I had never heard anything like it. The depth of the mysterious dark intensity of her singing haunted me and I’ve stayed kind of haunted by it. 

So, RIP Marianne and David. 

Today I talk to Ke Huy Quan about his epic journey to become an Oscar winner. On Thursday I talk to Demi Moore. It hasn’t happened yet but I’m excited about it. Love her. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Resistance Is Essential.

The pushback, People.

I’m back in it. 

I remember doing comedy in the days, months, years after Trump became president the first time. It was tense. I never know who’s in the room and what they may believe or what they are willing to do because of their beliefs. It’s a delicate balance. 

People who know what I do generally know where I stand and that I will put that out there a bit in my shows. When I do a show or a set for a general audience and I talk about politics or what we are all going through collectively, part of that collective definitely doesn’t think like me and it’s going to irritate them. What they do when confronted with that irritation is the wild card. 

But I’m going to do it. 

I don’t know if I am courageous or not. I do know if I don’t speak my mind (and be funny about it) I will feel like I failed myself and my heroes. So, I do it. Resistance is essential and as this country becomes more of an autocracy or fascist or authoritarian or oligarchical, resistance is fraught with a certain amount of fear and risk. But I think if I can follow it with a cat joke I can usually pull it off. It’s necessary. 

Punching down is easy and there’s no risk to it other than revealing yourself to be small and an asshole. If you’re surrounded by small assholes as an audience it’s big fun for everyone involved. We’ve all punched down at some point in our lives. The hope is you don’t get addicted to the rush of cruelty that it gives you. That’s a dangerous monkey to have on your back and also a shitty foundation for community. 

The idea of speaking truth to power gives you a different rush. If it is what you feel and believe, and you are surrounded by at least a few like minded people or people who can't give voice to it, there is a sense of release from the bondage of fear and maybe a small glimmer of hope that the spark of humanity hasn’t gone out. 

If you flip that, speaking power to truth, I think that is the duality. If power speaks to truth or, more likely, yells at it and does it over and over again, eventually truth will buckle and retreat and hide. Hopefully waiting for a gap or hole or a pause so it can  pop out again and reveal itself but that’s not guaranteed. Human truth is a pretty fragile and vulnerable force. 

Almost everything in our cultural dialogue mutes human truth. Even when it’s on full display or acted out in bits and pieces on TikTok or IG. The context of a reel is a punch to the brain to trigger an emotional reaction that is mostly fleeting. It exists unto itself to generate attention by evoking a feeling. So, if you live in your phone, your humanity gets used up by reacting to these bits and pieces of events and cries that make you feel the feels, but to no true end. They dissipate quickly. 

Challenging people in real time with provocative material is where the real feels happen. Sometimes, like the other night, it lands and it upsets people to the point where they speak out, disrupt the show, condemn it and get thrown out of a comedy club. How the other people in the room react is where the real power of a moment lives. 

I just see it as part of my job and, believe me, I wish I didn’t have to do it, but I do.

Today I talk to Erin Brockovich about environmental and consumer advocacy and speaking up and fighting the good fight. Thursday I talk to Noah Wyle about his new show The Pitt and the current state of healthcare and the people who provide it. Good week. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Like-Minded People.

It’s happening, People.

The war on tolerance has been waged and won. The fight against liberal democracy, inclusive culture, civil rights, women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, immigrants' rights and science has brought us here. It's been brewing and festering probably since the New Deal, definitely since the explosion of progressive culture in the '60s. 

We are entering a dark time politically, culturally and environmentally. I am not a political scientist or pundit. I’m just a comic. I’m not totally keyed in to much of the dialogue. I know what I see and feel and that’s a foundational dread and anxiety. 

The loophole of elective democracy is that a fascist can be freely elected and then destroy the system that delivered him there. It’s not new or even unusual. It is new and unusual for us and scary. Democracy as a governing body is apparently very codependent by design. A real people pleaser. Which leaves it open to abuse by assholes, gaslighters and domestic terrorists. 

There is an us and them when it comes to much of what drove us here. We are going to have to deal with a lot of douchebaggery coming down from the top and into passing moments with other humans in our lives. 

They thrive on our discomfort, pain and fear. They fucking love it. 

It’s going to suck. We don’t know how bad it will get. We don’t know how it will affect our everyday lives but it will. 

I’m not sure how I will handle the dramatic shift in culture. I guess we’ll find the like-minded people who enjoy what we do. I guess we’ll learn to thrive in the shadow of a multipronged attack by policies enacted by religious fanatics, racists, tech oligarchs, hate nerds, corporate monsters and their minions. 

The survival of decency and empathy is kind of on us. Individuals who have it in them to think those things are important. 

The survival of American Democracy is a little less hopeful. I certainly don’t do enough. I know there are ways to get involved. Fight for what’s right on a community and state level. Believe that change is still possible. We’re going to have to get through a lot of PTSD to get to those actions. To be proactive. 

Art, self expression, being who you are proudly and vigilantly is important and I believe it's going to be challenging when you feel surrounded by emboldened dummies who just want to shut you down. 

There are special people that do special things with their talents. Keep doing them. We don’t have to lower ourselves and debase ourselves to appeal to the narrow-minded who would rather everything be similar or something they understand.

People are going to die because of the thin majority’s discomfort with people who are different. A discomfort that becomes disdain and then policy. 

Hey, look. I hope I’m wrong. I hope I’m overreacting. I know some people are viewing this as a normal presidency in the context of how our government works and we just have to wait it out and see how the people vote the next time. 

I am unable to look at it that way. 

Today Bill Burr is back to catch up. Thursday I talk to comedian Sophie Buddle. Good stuff. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

The Fires.

Harrowing, People.

It has been a stressful, terrible few days. The fires in Los Angeles are ongoing and terrifying. I am lucky as of this writing. I am safe. The animals are safe. Kit is safe. Kit’s animals are safe. Many people have lost everything. It’s incomprehensible but it was always a possibility out here. 

It is devastating. I feel awful for so many people that are dealing with the destruction. Entire communities were decimated. It looks like a nuclear bomb went off in some parts of LA County. It feels like post-9/11 here in terms of the collective trauma that people are moving through. A terrorist attack makes you afraid of more terrorist attacks but you believe, or at least it's possible to think, that terrorists can be stopped. 

You can't stop the wind. 

The reality that every time the wind picks up in Los Angeles there is a possibility that everything will be immolated seems nearly impossible to live with. 

This is what it will be like here all the time now. It used to be that there was a general detachment during fire season. It always seemed that the fires were ‘over there somewhere in the mountains.’ They would get close but not close enough to warrant evacuation. Just a mild to extreme panic. 

We always knew the possibility of this. It was part of the devil’s bargain you exist with to live here. Earthquake, fires. Some part of you was in enough denial or blind faith to just accept it. Hope for the best. Those days are over. 

It seems that if you are a rational person you would move as quickly as possible. I imagine many will. I am making plans. 

To be tethered to the Watch Duty app compulsively updating to see if another fire has broken out somewhere nearby. Will you be woken up in the middle of the night by an alert on your phone to evacuate immediately? Will you need to leave your home? Will your friends need to flee? Is it too late for you or people you know? It’s not a sustainable way to live with any psychological grounding other than terror. 

Look, many people live with this terror in the world for many different reasons. Some man made, other environmental. 

Checking the app for fires every few minutes. 

I realized in the midst of this that the feeling of needing to check to see if you are in the path of destruction over and over will be a lot like checking your news feed after January 20. Where’s the fire? What has he done? Am I safe? Can I live my life freely without overwhelming fear? 

The layers of terror and anxiety that are building upon each other is something akin to a perfect storm, like the perfect storm that created near 100 mile an hour winds that turned the fire into rapid assault from a barrage of embers traveling as projectiles. House to house. Tree to tree. 

I really don’t know how I will manage things in that much fear. Denial and reason can only get you so far. The desire to retreat into self, hide, run, do something drastic will be an edge that many of us will be living on. 

The possibility of paralysis is constant. Creative paralysis, emotional paralysis, political paralysis. The urge to shut down will be there upon waking. 

The act of just living your life day-to-day will be what saves you. Small things. Errands. Reaching out and being there for other people, pets, kids, your job or life pursuit. 

The only way to push back will be to live your life and vigilantly be yourself and do the right thing. Take care of your mind and loved ones.

Try not to be turned out by fear and become a shell. 

There are many ways to help people whose lives have been upended by what’s happening here, or anywhere frankly. Reach out. Help any way you can. It’s the human thing to do. 

Sorry about the weight of this dispatch. 

Today I talk to Richard Gadd about his series Baby Reindeer and all the humanity that entails. Thursday I hope I’ll be talking to comedian Mo Welch. We’ll see. Things are a bit chaotic out here in terms of people being able to do things. The situation is, again, fluid. 

Stay here. 

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Markers and Windows.

Hey, People.

I’m not losing my mind but it seems overloaded and shorting out a bit. I don’t acknowledge burnout is real but maybe it is. I am not sure what to do about it. 

It’s been a rough few days. A director who I talked to on the show and I knew socially a bit has passed away. Jeff Baena died by suicide. He was a real artist and unique director and writer. It’s very sad. Then yesterday I found out that an old friend of mine, comedian Jim Short, passed away. We were estranged for a long time over bullshit but I talked to him a few months ago and we worked through it. He was ill. I was glad we were able to reconnect and let go of the past. 

Life is short and hard. As I get older I realize that I have had many lives. I think everyone loses touch in an immediate way but I have no idea who or how the guy I was made his way through the world and survived. 

When your life is rooted in a creative pursuit that you are chasing wherever it takes you and it is the most important thing in your life, your journey takes you to many different places geographically and mentally. To the point where you actually feel you have had many lives, because you did. 

When people pass away, especially ones who you didn’t stay in touch with or ones who just passed through your life, the moments of grief take you back to who you were during that time. You can kind of get a sense of yourself remembering your experience with them and who they were in your life at that time. The journey you are on resonates in memories of relationships because you don’t really feel your brain changing over time that much. 

When you don’t have a family, your history all lives in time spent with people who come and go. So, it becomes hard to see a throughline to my life. Just people, places, events and things that are markers and windows into my experience. 

I have to get a handle on compartmentalizing all that I do and all that I think. The difference between what I do in the world and what my brain is doing on its own. It’s exhausting. I had a minor wake up call that I have to get my mind together and grounded. 

I hit two parked cars. Parking. What? Yes. 

I insisted, against the reality of the situation, that I could get into a parking space that I couldn’t. Turning into it I hit the parked car on my right on its back bumper. I hit it a bit harder than I thought. I could tell by the awful crunching sound. I backed out and tried to re-angle my car and, as I was easing into the spot looking to my right, my side view mirror dragged along the car on my left. A double-header. I left a note on the car on my right. The person in the car on the left had just parked. So, they got out and took my insurance info. The other car’s owner called me later. My bumper was cracked and needs to be replaced. 

All in, about 3K in damages because I had my head up my ass.

I need to pull it out. 

Today I talk to actor Adrien Brody about his career and his new film The Brutalist. On Thursday I talk to the genius filmmaker Mike Leigh about his life and his films including his new one Hard Truths.

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Needy Animals.

Happy New Year, Folks?

I guess we can dream and wish. Stay in the day. 

It’s the feeling of powerlessness and isolation that is daunting. Even though people who believe in democracy are not really the minority, the cultural force and momentum of what is coming is overwhelming. It almost feels like it’s on purpose. Like that's the plan. Like real authoritarian shit. 

A third of the country is terrified and hopeless. Another third couldn’t be more thrilled about that. And another third doesn’t really give a fuck either way. Those are the ones that scare me the most. It hinges on them. Maybe my math is off but the ratios are tight and it doesn’t bode well for vulnerable people.

I’ll be honest with you. My holidays have been pretty trying. I’m not really a holiday person and I wasn’t really buying into the forced festive nature of the time but last week was marked by panic and minor crises that I guess were educational somehow. I’m not knocking the holidays and I am certainly open to any and almost all distraction on a daily basis with an enthusiasm that can only come from existential terror. 

I was forced into the present a few times last week. 

I went back to New Mexico on Christmas Eve. I went to see my dad to get a feel for where he’s at with his dementia and to spend time with the timeless vibration of the state that defines some part of me and grounds me. 

The night I got in I went to a small family gathering of his wife’s family. Ate some tamales. Split. He seemed a bit more vacant but still present for the most part. The following day I got a call from my cat sitter that Charlie had explosive diarrhea all over the house. Literally all over the house. It’s not a small house. On my bed, in the dining room, in the den, the stairs. Almost like he was making a point. 

The next day was the large family gathering of my dad’s wife’s family. I go every year. Again, my dad seemed okay. Detached, but okay. After another call from my cat sitter that Charlie is still shitting everywhere I had Kit take him to the vet the next day. 

Christmas night I decided to go see A Complete Unknown. My dad went home and his wife’s son and grandchildren were going there to open presents. Ten minutes into the movie I get a couple of calls and texts from Rosie, Dad’s wife, saying there was a problem with my dad. Then her granddaughter texted saying I had to call Rosie because my father was being abusive and crazy angry. I left the movie and called. Rosie told me my dad threw a rage fit and told everyone to get the fuck out of his house and he started kicking presents around. Apparently, he did this all without his walker. Anger is a powerful drug. 

Everyone was scared and shocked at the outburst. 

She put him on the phone because she believes I’m the Dad Whisperer, which I am. I asked him what the fuck was wrong with him and why did he lose his shit and scare everyone. He said he didn’t. I pressed him. He said it was because no one was talking to him. So, he ruined Christmas for everyone.

I wish I could say this was because of his dementia but he did this my whole life. Erratic, abusive outbursts when it wasn’t about him enough. I told him that. He said it wasn’t true. I got choked up.

It’s what remains of a person. I guess it was a long shot that my old man would become docile and manageable like some dementia patients do. The 'fuck you' is the last to go with guys like my dad. 

I enjoyed A Complete Unknown. Very good film. 

All that said, Charlie was diagnosed with stress-induced colitis because I left him. I realized he does this in one way or another every time I leave. Doesn’t eat, vomits, shits or a trifecta. Now I know for sure. 

I have a dad that rages when he doesn’t get love or attention and a cat that shits everywhere for the same reasons. 

On Friday morning Kit went by my house and found the ceiling leaking in the kitchen. I woke up to the possibility of a burst pipe and my house being out of commission while the ceiling has to be torn out. Awesome. I had her turn off the water main and pulled a team together over the phone to deal with it that night and I flew home a day early. 

It turns out it was the loose bolts on the bottom of the tank of the toilet upstairs. Water was seeping into the floorboards and finally bubbled the paint and leaked into the kitchen. A blessing. Just a paint job fix. 

What did I learn? That needy animals can be dangerous, scary and may shit all over everything. And sometimes things aren’t as bad as you think. Important lessons. 

Happy New Year. 

Today I talk to actor Ron Livingston, who I like. On Thursday we have a special Ask Marc Anything episode. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron