Fathers, Folks.
I know I am fortunate to have my father still with us, mostly. Hell, I’m lucky to be here. We’re both alive. That’s kind of amazing.
I was trying to assess my relationship with my dad over the years. It was Father’s Day, so I thought, let’s get nostalgic. Let’s run that slide show of all the amazing times I had with him. Turns out either I lost all the good ones or they just were never on the drive.
I think the earliest memories I have of him were probably when we lived in Alaska and he was in the military. I remember my mother drove us out to the military hospital where he was working. It was far. We sat and waited for him until he came out in his scrubs. Looking back on it, it might have been one of those situations where my mother just showed up to remind him he had a family.
I remember walking in Alaska on a dirt road and we were confronted by a giant bull moose. We froze and slowly walked away. I remember the moose. I don’t remember how my dad handled it. I believe I may have been on my dad's shoulders. We may have ran. It was a bumpy ride.
I remember going clamming and salmon fishing. Little jars of eggs.
I remember when he was team doctor for the New Mexico Thunderbirds and almost being decapitated by a professionally thrown football. That has nothing to do with him other than maybe putting me in harm's way.
He tightened my bindings too tight on a ski trip and I broke my leg. He set my leg. I still walk funny.
He ran my foot over by accident years later and broke my ankle and set it. It turned out okay.
He was bipolar so the ups were exciting. There was a lot of positive and negative motivational energy around whatever he was obsessed with or maybe something he couldn’t find, like a wrench or a hat. There was a lot of laughing and crying and chaos.
He was very depressed on the day of my college graduation and hours before the ceremony he wandered off and we almost called the cops. He came back. He had gone to a bridge and done some thinking and decided against taking action. I got a diploma.
When he was depressed for weeks my mother used to say, ‘Go upstairs and make your father laugh. You’re the only one who can.’
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, was the beginning of my comedy career. So, I have to thank him for that.
There were some good times but not really family or father-son times. Just manic adventures of sorts.
We’ve had a difficult go of it over there years but now that he is winding down I have closure and peace with the guy.
At some point, if you have a parent that you have problems with most of your life, you have to make peace within yourself. Find the things that you inherited from them and look at those traits as positives. If they weren’t positive, choose against them as much as you can. If they were chaotic and manic traits, trim them up a little bit and find the inner vibe of them and see if they are part of your engine in a proactive way.
Turns out manic charm and erratic emotional behavior can be pretty good for comedy.
Thanks, Dad.
Today I talk to actor Jude Law about the stuff. Good guy. On Thursday I talk to Geezer Butler about being the bass player for Black Sabbath. Real rock.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
