Pop, People.
I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. I never do.
I like how it's always misconstrued as condescension or some kind of posture. I just have no idea how to watch any football, or most sports, because I honestly give zero fucks. Zero.
I have nothing against sports and sometimes I think I may have actually been a better person if I had learned how to enjoy them on the field and off but I was never guided that way. I also think I just may have always given zero fucks.
I never liked the culture around sports in high school. I never really had any sense of school or team loyalty. I can appreciate the excitement people get from it and understand why rooting for a team is a deep emotional connection but, not unlike my blasé attitude around god and belief, it’s just not how I am or was wired. I’m really not sure it was for the best but it just is.
I think that’s why I can't stand political culture at this time. The same sort of fervor and angry, shallow emotions that drive sports fanaticism now drives politics. Unfortunately, the sport or pseudo-sport that it's most like is professional wrestling. Which I do understand as theater and entertainment but it's hard to grapple with when it affects thousands of lives, perhaps ending many. The heel is the president and he’s a sociopathic huckster clown autocrat.
It’s not that I’m not competitive. I am. I try not to be. Because most of my competitive instincts are based in insecurity and self judgement and manifest in kind of snotty blurts and mildly bitter reactions to things. I know it isn’t real. If I change my perception and accept who I am (finally, at 61) I don’t have those impulses. On most days I can muster that up. Self acceptance.
It is a challenge on other days.
How you feel about yourself can determine your degree of misery and panic and sadness in your life, in relation to things happening outside of you.
It’s good to get out of yourself. Get out there among the people. Even if it’s just to be part of it.
I’m relearning that getting out among the people is necessary for me. I’m fortunate to have two primary jobs, comedy and podcasting, that put me into very immediate and engaging relationships with other humans. A single one and crowds. It keeps me human. It keeps me from getting lost in my head or my phone or my past or my catastrophic (always) future.
I also need to just be around people, strangers, just out in the world.
I went to Canter’s Deli by myself late the other night. I’ve been going there for almost 40 years. It's grounding. Just to sit there and eat the food of my tribe in a place filled with other late night eaters. Some solo, some groups. People watching and sharing space and being very present.
It’s human to be around the passive vulnerability of others just existing and eating and talking.
I miss that about living in NYC.
I have to make sure I stay connected to it so I know we are all still here. I am still here.
Today I talk to the magically talented Ariana Grande. On Thursday I talk to the big movie director James Mangold. Awesome week of talk and engagement.
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
