No Time for Empathy.

Hola, People.

I’m loopy. 

On Friday night I did a night shoot. Those are tough. We had one exterior scene that had to take place at night. It was a less-than-two-minutes scene. We started shooting around 10 and I didn’t get out of there until 3. I got back to where I’m staying at 4. I had a car picking me up to go to the airport at 8:15

It’s difficult to do the acting when you are contending with the specific type of fatigue that comes from lack of sleep. It is part of the job. 

I was panicking about getting home that morning. I had a 10:25 flight and all I wanted was to break up the night from the day with at least a couple of hours rest. Just so my brain would reset. I can handle no sleep. I did morning radio. I know that if I can collect the hours the next day, even if they are not in a row, I can function. I knew if I got the first three hours and I got two on the plane I may be able to function the next day. 

That was the plan. 

I get on the plane and I’m flying coach. I had no choice. I know this sounds like a luxury problem and perhaps insensitive to the everyday plight of human beings but coach is unbearable. I saved my money. I don’t have dependents. I fly first class or business because when you travel constantly it makes a difference spatially and psychologically. 

No go. Coach it is. 

I see a lot of videos of people losing their minds on planes lately. I couldn’t really figure out why until my flight home. Many people I have spoken to say Covid broke people's brains and they can't deal with things anymore. That may be true. I don’t know what the exact brain math is but I get it. 

I remember years ago, before I stopped using drugs, I was flying back from a festival and I had been up for a couple of days. I got a window seat on the plane just so I could pass out and be in good enough shape to lie to my wife when I got home. 

The woman sitting next to me had an awful, phlegmy cough that she couldn’t control the entire flight from Seattle to NYC. Anytime I would drift off I was startled awake by a tubercular explosion. I remember it now because I don’t think I could’ve hated a person more. I just couldn’t believe my luck and I was out of my mind. She was sick. It was no time for empathy. I had to get my shit together with sleep. 

I was on the aisle on Saturday. I figured I could sleep no matter what because I was going to be wiped out. The guy who sat in the middle was a large fellow. Tall. Not threatening but a big boy. I fell asleep waiting to take off. I got about an hour. 

As soon as we got in the air, this guy was in motion. He had a movie on his phone, he was playing video games on the screen of the plane’s entertainment system. He had two books out. He was reaching into a backpack to get chips out of a very noisy bag. He ate a sandwich. He kept shifting his body. He was like a giant four year old.

I felt a rage come over me. I just needed to sleep. 

Somehow, I entered some kind of meditative state. I decided the guy had some kind of neurodivergent issue. To my surprise, my empathy enabled me to accept the situation. Just as I got to a place of acceptance he fell asleep. I couldn’t. I was all jacked up with the energy it took for me to deal with the situation without anger. 

That said, I totally get why people lose their minds on planes. 

Today I talk to Paul Scheer again about his new book and reframing childhood trauma. Thursday I talk to the amazing actress Julianne Nicholson about acting and life. Great conversations. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron