Wear the Helmet.

Hello, Gang!

I’m finally home for a bit. It’s a relief, but its no vacation. When I get home it always feels like there’s a never ending list of shit to do because there is. 

There’s house stuff, cat stuff, comedy stuff, podcast stuff, relationship stuff. Stuff.

I’m starting to appreciate the actor’s life a bit more. It’s like the comic’s life only you’re away for longer. As lonely and weird as that can be, it’s not your house or real life, really. It’s like a dream. When I get home, I’m awake. 

It’s nice to be back. I really don’t assume that my cats are going to remember me. It takes them a couple of days to adjust to me being around and in their face on the regular but they all come around eventually. I really don’t understand how people do it with kids. It seems like it would be kind of heartbreaking to be away from your kids when they are at a certain age. The thought that they may not remember you or that it could permanently alter your relationship with them must be so difficult. I am so happy not to have them. 

I mean, with cats, even if they don’t remember you, once you start feeding them regularly they’re fine. That’s probably what it comes down to. ‘Oh, yeah. This is the guy that used to feed us and now he’s feeding us again.’ It’s probably similar with kids. Deeper, but similar. 

There’s a lot less to remember for a cat. They aren’t growing into a full, complex self. They’re pretty much all them after the first year or so. 

When I do get home I aggressively jump back into my habits. I did do something new this time. I have this electric bike that I haven’t really ridden. I decided to take it out for a spin down to get a sandwich. I got all set to ride and I had a bit of a struggle with myself about whether or not I should wear a helmet. I have one. I just didn’t really think it was cool to wear one. They are pretty silly looking. I’m 60 and I’m worried about looking cool on my bike. Crazy.

I was already wearing shorts and sandals. I was thinking, ‘fuck it. I’m not really going that far. It’s a bike.’ These electric bikes get going though. I think the whole pedal assist idea is silly. It’s basically a moped. 

I decided to wear the helmet. I decided to not look cool for a couple of reasons. The first being, no one is really looking at me on a bike in my jean shorts and sandals thinking, ‘That guy is cool.’ I’m 60! The other reason is I didn’t want to crack my head open like a dumbshit. That was the real deciding factor. To get a traumatic brain injury by falling off a bike at my age was a big enough motivator. 

The pride I felt for making that very basic, very practical adult decision was embarrassing. I was really patting myself on the back. I felt like I was making a real sacrifice in the name of safety. It was ridiculous. I guess that is the nature of aging though. 

In a lot of ways I think wisdom is learning how not to be careless and to have enough forethought to assess possible consequences. 

I did still feel like I needed some recognition for making the choice. I’ll give it to myself now. Hey, Marc. Great job wearing the helmet. That was the responsible and safe thing to do. You’re all grown up now. 

Thanks, Marc. 

Today I talk to the very intimidating Michael Rooker about his life and playing very intimidating and scary roles. On Thursday I talk to Paul W. Downs. He’s a writer, creator and performer on the show Hacks.

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron