Crisis management, People.
My brain is busy pretty much all the time. I’ve talked about this a lot. Left to its own devices, aside from the primal ones that keep me alive, my brain generates worry and panic. Actually, maybe it's a bit of those survival parts bleeding over.
I like to think that I just like to think. I’m okay alone, driving, walking, with no music, because I like to think. Truth is, I don’t execute much control over most of my thoughts. Which is a mistake. I could be much more creative if I did.
I think about things going wrong, worst case scenarios, being attacked, revenge fantasies, political assassinations, fire, animal death, human death, cancer and other diseases, fat, my hair, my face, my clothes, my brittle nails, food and getting it, sex, remembering things just to see if I can, where things are, where they aren’t and what happens if they’re not there, rising water, rising temperatures, why is that guy so popular, etc.
Some of those are fine, healthy even. Many of them just generate panic and self loathing and what am I going to do if THAT happens? Some of it turns out to be prepping. Accepting the worst. Though usually the worst isn’t even on the list. There are surprises. Most of the list is made of things that aren’t happening and won't.
The prep helps. Because when it’s time to panic for real, I’m ready. Give me a crisis. Minor ones are preferred. I’m ready. Instinctively.
I had a revelation on Saturday. I was booked on an Air Canada flight back home at 8:45am. The last time I flew with them they cancelled all their flights, day of, because of tech issues. What? All flights? I found out after there is a labor shortage and perhaps a strike. I am wary of AC now. I knew that heading into Saturday morning. I suggested to my manager, 'maybe we don’t fly with them anymore.' She said other airlines cancel too. I said okay.
I woke up at 6 for a 6:45 pick up. There was a text and an email from Air Canada saying my flight was cancelled. I was rebooked for 6:30pm. Unacceptable. My time at home is precious and my sanity was at stake. A full day in my head was out of the question. I scrambled. No panic. Got on the Delta app. Found an 8am flight through WestJet. Tried to book it. There were no assigned seats but there was an upgrade available. Took it. Was transferred to the WestJet site. Jumped through some international flight hoops. Landed the last seat. Then I called the driver, who happens to like showing up early and he came ten minutes later. Made the flight. Miracle.
In the middle of that minor crisis, just taking the steps, I felt like that is what I should be doing with my life. Whatever that means.
Then I solved a minor mystery about a home invasion through texting on the plane.
Amazing, a productive morning of crises.
Maybe I should hire myself out to panic about other people’s problems and be available to troubleshoot if the shit goes down. Is there a name for that job? I think it might be Therapist.
Later that night I dropped my phone at the movies and didn’t realize it until a stranger came running after me with it like five minutes after I left. Another miracle. If he hadn’t it would’ve ruined my whole weekend.
Averting a crisis with my own will and the good will of a stranger made it an amazing day. Like one of the best days.
I should be able to have them without all the drama.
Today I talk to comic Drew Lynch who appeared on my show Maron. On Thursday I talk to Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes. Great talks!
Enjoy!
Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!
Love,
Maron
